Were You Raised by Wolves?

Shortly after having Hollis I discovered The Three Martini Playdate by Christie Mellor. It was a breath of snarky fresh air after the What to Expect books and Dr. Sears. I was in baby advice overload and overwhelmed by a major shift in personal identity. Reading Ms. Mellor's book, tongue in cheek though it was, sort of made me remember that I am an individual with wants and needs that I can't neglect.

Even T loved the book and would annoyingly read parts to me out loud in bed. You know, the book that I had already read and laughed my way through? Yeah, a bit annoying.

But when PBN gave me the opportunity to review Ms. Mellor's latest book, Were You Raised by Wolves, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on some snarky hilarity.

After reading the book, I can tell you that my answer to the question "Were you raised by wolves" is, "Why yes, it seems that I was."

Ms. Mellor did not disappoint me. This book is advice for the new grown up. Or, the grown up who never really grew up but is still making mom and dad pay off the credit card and bringing home laundry every weekend. (C'mon, we all know at least one of those!)

Need to know how to stock a bar? Well, if you ever want me to visit you do! Ms. Mellor has it covered. How to have a real conversation that doesn't just consist of you blathering on about yourself until your listener passes out from boredom or begins to bleed from the ears? Got it covered. Boil an egg? Yup. Do laundry? Uh huh. Become fiscally responsible? It's there.

The section of the book that told me I'm a slovenly juvenile destined to die in a pile of filth, newspapers and empty pizza boxes, surrounded by cats, was the section titled "Make your bed!" Ms. Mellor is a big advocate of making your bed every. single. morning. See, I never do unless company is coming over. I don't see the point when I'm just going to get in it & toss off all the throw pillows all over again at night. My husband? Couldn't be bothered either.

Here's what Ms. Mellor says:

[T]here is an idea used in law enforcement called the "broken window" theory that holds that if there is a broken window on a building, and if it is not immediately fixed, then it sends a signal to the neighborhood that nobody really cares. Vermin move into the building, graffiti springs up overnight, and garbage is dumped on the doorstep. More windows are broken. So, along those lines, I am suggesting that if you leave your bed constantly unmade, it sends a signal (to you) that it's also okay to leave your stinky socks on the floor, your dirty sweatpants slung over the chair, and a moldy crust of pizza sitting on top of a stack of magazines. You may think you're the sort that would never dream of leaving food lying around, but these things creep up on you, just like that broken window. You leave the bed unmade for too long, and pretty soon you find yourself sitting in a pool of your own waste, eating out of a takeout container in front of reality show reruns.

Um, ouch. I never watch reality show reruns.

This book is the perfect graduation gift. In fact, having received 2 graduation announcements already, I know I'll be buying a few copies of this book. Maybe I'll even make my bed.

But I won't like it. (She says with an adolescent pout on her face.)