Put down the torches and pitchforks and read the post before you string me up, OK?
PBN is having a fantabulous Blog Blast, cataloguing all the stupid questions we've been asked as pregnant women or new moms. It was hard to choose because I've been asked a few doozies.
Question: "Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
Answer: "No, I'm just a cow."
Question (Noting my obvious pregnancy and my child under the age of one): "Do you know what causes that? Because I can help you out if you don't."
Answer: "Why yes, I do know what causes that. I'm just trying to live up to my white trash roots, thanks."
Question: "What are you having?"
Answer: "Um, a puppy. What do you think?"
Question (upon hearing that I'm having another boy): "I guess you'll have to have another one then, won't you? So you can buy all the girly stuff?"
Answer: "No, actually, we've decided to raise our second boy as a girl so my life can have the meaning that only lace frilled, pink onesies can provide."
But my absolute favorite was "Isn't breastfeeding gross? You aren't going to do that are you?"
What I actually said: "Um, yeah, I think I'm going to give it a try."
What I wish I'd said: "So that explains why your kids are so stupid."
I don't actually think that people who don't breastfeed or aren't able to breastfeed are intellectually harming their children. C'mon! You know me! Or at least some of you do. I've talked about my breastfeeding woes before. With Hollis it was a struggle. Even though he was born at 37 weeks, the IUGR (that's intrauterine growth retardation) rendered him unable to suck. And I have flat nipples.
Hold it, was that too much information? Great. Now every perv in the blogosphere is going to find my site doing inappropriate Google searches.
But anyway, I nursed Holden quite successfully in private. In public, I constantly felt like I had to justify myself to every Tom, Dick & Harry who came by to gawk at my boobs. And boy do the gawkers come out when you are showing absolutely none of your breast, but there's a baby there who is obviously nursing. Even when draped in a blanket. C'mon, people! You can see more boob in People magazine!
So what are the worst questions you've been asked as a new mom or when pregnant? Don't you wish you could have just handed them this? Or at least had the book handy to smack them in the head?
If you'd like to play, go check out the rules at PBN. PBN will pick two random winners of an iPod Shuffle and an autographed book. I'm all about the free stuff.
PBN is having a fantabulous Blog Blast, cataloguing all the stupid questions we've been asked as pregnant women or new moms. It was hard to choose because I've been asked a few doozies.
Question: "Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
Answer: "No, I'm just a cow."
Question (Noting my obvious pregnancy and my child under the age of one): "Do you know what causes that? Because I can help you out if you don't."
Answer: "Why yes, I do know what causes that. I'm just trying to live up to my white trash roots, thanks."
Question: "What are you having?"
Answer: "Um, a puppy. What do you think?"
Question (upon hearing that I'm having another boy): "I guess you'll have to have another one then, won't you? So you can buy all the girly stuff?"
Answer: "No, actually, we've decided to raise our second boy as a girl so my life can have the meaning that only lace frilled, pink onesies can provide."
But my absolute favorite was "Isn't breastfeeding gross? You aren't going to do that are you?"
What I actually said: "Um, yeah, I think I'm going to give it a try."
What I wish I'd said: "So that explains why your kids are so stupid."
I don't actually think that people who don't breastfeed or aren't able to breastfeed are intellectually harming their children. C'mon! You know me! Or at least some of you do. I've talked about my breastfeeding woes before. With Hollis it was a struggle. Even though he was born at 37 weeks, the IUGR (that's intrauterine growth retardation) rendered him unable to suck. And I have flat nipples.
Hold it, was that too much information? Great. Now every perv in the blogosphere is going to find my site doing inappropriate Google searches.
But anyway, I nursed Holden quite successfully in private. In public, I constantly felt like I had to justify myself to every Tom, Dick & Harry who came by to gawk at my boobs. And boy do the gawkers come out when you are showing absolutely none of your breast, but there's a baby there who is obviously nursing. Even when draped in a blanket. C'mon, people! You can see more boob in People magazine!
So what are the worst questions you've been asked as a new mom or when pregnant? Don't you wish you could have just handed them this? Or at least had the book handy to smack them in the head?
If you'd like to play, go check out the rules at PBN. PBN will pick two random winners of an iPod Shuffle and an autographed book. I'm all about the free stuff.
Labels: Blog Blast, Books, The Breast of Times
17 Comments:
I always liked....when are you due?? My response was ....due to do what??? People look at you like..."Are you serious?" I like messing with people!!!
Okay I am a pretty private person...no REALLY! I don't like people knowing my private business unless I tell them and seriously, pregnancy is a seriously big intrusion of privacy LOL. So I was just generally annoyed for 9 months (no not 10, I didn't make it that far). Nothing is standing out. But I am sure there are loads of salt people in my wake from getting The Eye from me as they reached their hands towards The Belly.
My favorite response to the "you know what causes that, don't you?" question is this (said with a serious expression): "No, I don't. Do you want to tell me?" I double-dog dare anyone dorky enough to ask me that question to go ahead and tell me about sex. Gross.
Those are very annoying! Why do people think it's so terrible not to have a girl?
We also dealt with IUGR with my son...I've never met anyone else who even knew what it was.
Actually, screw People magazine. There's been more boob shown in religious paintings from back in the day. You know it, I know it, they know it but breastfeeding boobs are usually the only ones available at the time being. Keep an old painting in your pocket and whip it out to distract gawkers, or, oh, this is a good idea: make a nursing cover of old paintings that show off breasts. Yes. Wouldn't that be a statement?
That said, I'm getting the "do you know what causes that" comment right now (which is actually my blog blast topic) and the whole girl thing. I've been trying to think of something witty to answer the "oh, boohoo, no girls" comment and I think I've found my answer, thanks to you. I'm off to share it with some other boy Mamas. :)
Have a nice weekend!
I get an opposite question. "Are you going to try for a boy?" Why do people assume that having at lesat one of each is the ideal? What if I only wanted girls? or only boys? They make it seem like a second child of the same gender as the first is a disappointment
I'm another one who got the reverse of yours - when my ultrasound showed that I was having another girl, I actually had two or three people within that same day ask me if I was disappointed that it wasn't a boy. WTF? I would have been disappointed if the ultrasound showed that it wasn't a baby at all, but rather a box of donuts. Not because it was a girl again. Sheesh.
"And boy do the gawkers come out when you are showing absolutely none of your breast"
CLASSIC! just classic.
I'm loving this blogblast. I wrote about the sleeping through the night thing at www.mamaknj.blogspot.com
I am loving reading everyone's irky questions lol!
Where is it written that thou shalt have at least one of each sex, and try,try, and try again until you get it? Must be the same place people who talk to me found the rule that once you have one of each sex you must never reproduce again!
OH I got the trying for a girl thing too. As if two boys aren't enough to drive me insane I want to add in a child that will have mood swings from 10 until she leaves the house? Nah.
Breastfeeding gross? How about drinking a cow's breastmilk for being gross? But nooooo, people don't bat an eye at THAT. We buy that cow breastmilk by the gallon!
I had an aunt waddle up to me during a family reunion rather quickly. I thought she was going to give me a big hug, since we hadn't seen each other in years.
Instead - and instead of a common greeting like "hello" or "nice to see you" - she thrust her hands onto my breasts (think radio-dials) and said, "You're breastfeeding, aren't you?!"
Gross? No, breastfeeding isn't gross. Rude comments are gross.
Two boys here. And I get that question all the time.
I'm due with my second girl any day now and if I had a dollar for everyone who's given me a sorry face and then encouraged me to try again for a boy... I usually just tell them I grew up with a sister and it was just great, thanks.
The breastfeeding question I hated was "How do you know she's getting enough milk?"
Well, if I can't see the little ounce lines on my breasts, I just have to assume that once she pulls away, burps, and falls into a milk-induced coma...she's probably done.
Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Se você quiser linkar meu blog no seu eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. (If you speak English can see the version in English of the Camiseta Personalizada. If he will be possible add my blog in your blogroll I thankful, bye friend).
In response to the 'isn't breastfeeding gross?' question(er)s, make you wonder what babies got fed in the days before formula.
Duh!
Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Se você quiser linkar meu blog no seu eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso.(If you speak English can see the version in English of the Camiseta Personalizada.If he will be possible add my blog in your blogroll I thankful, bye friend).
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